Not Your Everyday News

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Skeletons out of the closet

Let me say that just when I think I have heard it all from our
overly dramatic dayshift waitresses, I am sadly proven wrong by
something even more incredulous. Today my opening waitress
was Tiffany, and I knew I was in for quite an adventure as soon as
I unlocked the door for her; her hair wasn't done (a first) and she
was in tears (NOT a first). Some background info before I get into
this...Tiffany lives in the sticks, on some mountain road about 45
minutes from town. Most of the people who live in that area are
distantly related to her or at least are folks who know her family,
who all come from the same hick region. Ok, so when I asked her
what was wrong, she said something about finally understanding
why the people of her mountain are always hateful, mean, and
spiteful towards her. Apparently last night a cousin of hers revealed
certain family secrets, mostly about aberrations of the family tree,
that simply devastated the unknowing Tiffany. In a nutshell, this
cousin informed her about an incestuous relationship between a
brother and sister who ended up being her grandparents, around 20
bodies buried around the various tracts of land owned by the family
on the mountain, most of whom never had birth OR death certifi-
cates, and moonshine and bootleg money hidden in mason jars or
cookie tins and buried in the ground (near the bodies perhaps?!?!).
Tiffany knew about the moonshining bit, but apparently all the other
stuff was new to her; in her mind, it now makes sense why her late
brother was born with Down's Syndrome and why she is so, as she
put it, "messed up". I spent most of the morning trying to convince
her that none of this was her fault and that she wasn't "messed up".
I went on to say that she had alot going for her, that she had already
overcome the odds working against her, and that all families had
skeletons in their closet and/or blacksheep, so she had nothing to be
ashamed of. Well, needless to say, she was a wreck all morning, so
as I had 2 other waitresses and we weren't particularly busy, I let
Tiffany go home early. Just hope we can have a somewhat NORMAL
day tomorrow....of course, the restaurant's version of normal is still
rather ABNORMAL to the rest of the civilized world!


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