Not Your Everyday News

Friday, February 09, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith

Folks, mankind has lost the true icon of crass brassiness, brash trashiness,
and scandalous adventure. Anna Nicole Smith stunningly and suddenly
died yesterday; an autopsy is being performed today to determine cause
of death. Obviously, if drugs are involved, and we ALL know that this will
be proven to be the case, then it may take weeks to get the final results.
CNN, in a developing story just splashed on their website, has announced
that "large amounts of prescription drugs were found in Anna Nicole
Smith's hotel room." WELL DUH - surprise surprise! Smith was found
unconscious in a Florida hotel room, and when efforts to revive her failed,
she was taken to a local hospital, where Smith died soon after at the age
of 39. A tragic and dramatic end to a tragic and dramatic life. We all knew
her as the tramp who was on the cover of 'Playboy', was a Playmate of
the year, and at age 26, married a 90 year old billionaire oil baron. Smith
would then take the oil baron's family to court to fight for the millions
that she believed were due her after the oil baron's death; she had won
the last battle just last year, winning an appeal at the U.S. Supreme Court.
But in the last few months, her scandal-filled drama took a sad turn; just
2 days after giving birth to a daughter (um, father of this baby is, at
this juncture, unknown), her son from her first marriage died of a drug
overdose (notice a pattern developing here). What I find rather unreal
at this point is the trend on the various TV stations this morning, where
Smith is being compared to Marilyn Monroe. Monroe, the most famous
vixen of her era, died in a hotel room of a drug overdose at the age of
36, in 1962. (naturally, there is controversy and scandal about this
'overdose', if she did it intentionally, unintentionally, or if it was
administered to her - remember Marilyn's scandals involved President
Kennedy and his brother, the Attorney General.) While I see the
dimwitted blonde bombshell, the drug use, the scandal driven lifestyle
similarities, I really don't see valid comparisons here. Monroe had
made several movies that, while not Oscar material, are still considered
classics today; Smith's reality show was a hit too - for those of the
trailer park trash culture. Monroe was a movie star, Smith a topless
dancer who won the lottery when she married the ancient oil baron
relic. But all barbs aside, it is sad to see this raunchy chick go. She
provided my pal Lola (who had actually left me a message on my cell
yesterday afternoon informing me that something had happened to
Smith) and I countless e-mail banter and jokes galore; we will need to
find a new 'victim' to sink our verbal claws into. Until then, let's just
hope that Anna Nicole is happily reunited with her son while dancing
and exposing herself to all oil barons in the sky!

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