Toast, pop tarts....schnitzel?

The toaster has to be one of the more significant kitchen appliance
inventions. I mean, look at all that can go in and be made warm
and.....TOASTY! Bread, english muffins, bagels, pop tarts, frozen
waffles, and more. But now a German firm has come up with a
new item to toast - Schnitzel! Yes, I have my doubts too about
this one. Apparently German meat producer Toennies believes
that the convenience of a frozen schnitzel that one can pop in
the toaster for 3 minutes, rather than going through the trouble
of breading and frying, will be a draw for many time-pressed
people. What I am curious about is how they claim that the
concoction won't ooze or drip grease from the heated meat.
Toennies spokesman Dietrich Gumppenberg wouldn't discuss
how that is possible, stating that it "...will remain a company
secret. We're patenting our invention." I could maybe buy this
if you put the schnitzel in a toaster oven, where you could line
the pan with aluminum foil, but I wouldn't feel confident putting
this "invention" in a pop up toaster, but hey, that's just me, True
fans of the breaded pork or veal dish are cringing everywhere!