Not Your Everyday News

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Southern grandma

Was going over some of my old e-mails. I save the good ones, those with
good jokes or funny cartoons or pics. So, I figured I'd share one of the
cuter ones, courtesy of Sandra, with y'all! ;)

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting
attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the
stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr.Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappoint-
ment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people
and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when
you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots
asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."


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